Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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