the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
