Tell her she can't have a vagina
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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