Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
