so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
