Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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