help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Your dad touched me again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
