Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
