Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
