He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
