..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
50% drunk capacity currently
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
