Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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