Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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