ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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