You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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