The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
