It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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