Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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