Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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