I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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