I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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