Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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