no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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