oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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