whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
