I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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