He is an equal opportunity slut.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
