And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
