I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
