There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
