she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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