But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
