so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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