I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
