But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you mean i was at the winter classic?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
