hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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