Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think my moral compass just broke
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
