just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's blow job season.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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