Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
