Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
