I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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