Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
