I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
