google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
