I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
