tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
