dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
