All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
