Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
