Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
