Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
