I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
