Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
