why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
