So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
